Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Lately I've had a longing in my heart of hearts. It was a heartache for so many things that for a while I wasn't sure exactly what it was.

I miss my best friend, my kindred spirit, who is now 2,360 miles away from me. I miss the glorious, beautiful times in college ... friendships, praise and worship, reading literature over tea, goofy dance parties ...

But my longing isn't just for the things of the past. I'm also waiting for what the future holds. I'm waiting to answer my life's calling, my vocation. I'm longing for the happiness, and yes, even the suffering, that such a gift of self will bring. Longing and waiting and hoping.

I've come to realize that all the missing and waiting that we feel in our lives, whether for the past or the future, is all the same. All of our wanting, in the truest sense of the word, can only be filled with one thing - Christ, and our communion with Him in Heaven.

When I miss my friends, I'm missing the glimpse of heaven I found in them. When I remember a beautiful memory with the pain of knowing that moment of happiness is gone, I'm remembering heaven. When I await the beauty of the life ahead of me, I await heaven.

In his novel "Til We Have Faces," C.S. Lewis wrote ... "It was when I was happiest that I longed most ... The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing ... to find the place where all the beauty came from.”

My one prayer is that each of us may realize that all of our wanting is for Him and the place He prepares for us. We are incomplete without Him, and no one else can satisfy. We're never really ourselves until we come face to face with Him.